Awesome Stuff God Has Done - Answering silly, doubtful prayers

[Approx. Date] September 2008 – For some reason I began to struggle anew with my relationship with God.  I never want to take my salvation lightly, but at the same time, without confidence that I AM saved, I am impotent in my ability to minister effectively to others.  I was concerned that most all of the awesome things that happened to ME, were actually happening to Andy as well.  I didn’t want to assume that God was answering MY prayer when he might just be honoring Andy’s prayers and mine were superfluous.  I wanted to see God answer me specifically.  Not to make Him do what I wanted Him to do – but to just know that He does indeed hear *me.*  Well, Pat had promised me a $200 bonus when I considered moving to Amy Shumate’s office.  A month and a half had passed and he had made no further mention of it, so I figured it to be long past, which was no big deal.  I began to pray that he would indeed remember his promise and pay me the bonus.  I prayed for nearly a week, and with no results, I began to feel desperate.  I prayed earnestly, asking God to meet me in this way – to give me confidence that He is hearing me.  The same day that I became desperate and really cried out to Him for this favor towards me, Pat called me aside and he had his checkbook out to write me a $250 check.  I felt a surge of relief and gratefulness that our marvelous, omnipotent God would stop in His almighty tracks to meet me at my place of need.  I needed assurance, and He knew it and that’s what He gave me – with a $50 cherry on top!

Late night frustrations (imported from Myspace)

You know, this blogging late at night thing only leads one direction.......rambling. Oh, well though - I need to purge myself of some excess thoughts.

It's funny though how every youth group is different. They say that youth groups are generally made up of Pharisees and sinners. Usually very little middle ground. Looking in from the outside, you look at the group from Cowarts and see all the "outside" sin: sex, drugs, profanity, etc. and it looks awful. But then you go to a "church-ified" environment, where the kids are from two parent households and have been raised in church, and you see pride, apathy, unwillingness to get out of the comfort zone and I sometimes wonder if it isn't a HARDER ministry than the one to those with a bad family background who are SO open to the gospel because they are desperately looking for something to change their life.

I am currently frustrated with a situation that has arisen, and I really can't tell you why it is bothering me so much. I think it may have a lot to do with the fact that Jesus never bothered with Pharisees. His harshest words were reserved for them. He went to the sinners, the downcast, the dirty, the unwanted, the rejects of the world. Of course the gospel was for everyone, but everyone wasn't desperate enough to cry out to him like a little child. But oh, those of us who have been downtrodden - we know that He is all the hope we have. You know, it's no different with kids. Privileged kids know the right answers and have all the opportunities, but they have to guard against apathy - being lukewarm. (We all know how God feels about being lukewarm!) But I don't want to waste my time begging Pharisees to take Jesus seriously when sinners are out there in droves dying for someone to take time to tell them the good news.

I am just a little discouraged because one of the older ones, that fancies themself quite "spiritual" (yuck - I hate that attitude....) was so full of excuses about why she couldn't reach out to other kids that were different from her. The words "they should just find someone else like them" actually came from her lips!??!! What??!! What happened to love (i.e. I John 3.....love for the brethren). The list of excuses ran on and on about why she couldn't invite anyone to church. My dialogue with her went like this, though I didn't voice ALL these thoughts - I did a lot of holding back. I don't know her well enough to be perfectly honest.

Her: I can't invite my friends - they go to different churches.

ME: All of them go to church?

Her: Oh, and they wouldn't come on a Friday - they party on the weekends.

ME: I thought you said they ALL went to church somewhere? What kind of so-called Christians are these?

Her: I don't know anyone who would want to come on Wednesday night.

ME: Funny how many people are starving for something to do. Okay, so make some new friends intentionally so you can introduce them to the gospel.

Her: Oh I can't make friends for the purposes of the gospel!

ME: Why not? You don't have to be "in your face" about it - just be nice and over time see where the conversation goes.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda......

The thing about this is. She isn't willing to do ANYTHING. Not invite current friends, not make new friends. According to her, every single person she knows attends church regularly AND parties every weekend and would never be interested in coming to church on Wednesday OR to a "fun" event. Okay, here's the rub. What about the dorky kids? Okay - there are LOTS of dorky kids out there and they need Jesus too. So love them like Jesus - I bet THEY don't have better things to do on Wednesdays, or for fun events, or for anything else where they can be accepted and loved unconditionally. But no, that would mean being with people I don't like, lowering my standards of who I hang with, making myself available for God to use - even at my own expense.......

After all - what's the gospel really worth to her? To me? I praise God that she appears to be an aberration, not the norm here, but man, I hate to see that attitude ever. The question is, I suppose, am I going to waste my time with Pharisees or dust my feet off and run to share the good news with sinners desperate for rescue......