I am so convicted about my bible study habits, yet, I am not sure how to improve! I want to be the woman that Anna Claire can mimic in her relationship with Christ, yet my own walk is so lacking! I pray more, but my overall devotion and personal time is minimal! I know that's wrong, but I don't know exactly how to rectify it! There is so incredibly much to be done at any moment - not only housework (which is exhaustive in itself) but calls to be made, appointments to set, errands to run, pumping breastmilk, on and on and on. No excuse I know, but I don't know how to pull out of that to have time alone. :( I have no doubt that I can do nothing - including being a good mom - apart from the vine though.....
Anna Claire was sweet today though - well, some of the day! She absolutely LOVES her bath. She played and kicked and splashed for probably thirty minutes today. Smiling as wide as she could! I thinks she wore herself out because she is fast asleep right now in her crib. Tonight is the first night we are trying to let her sleep in her own room.....we'll see if it works. I kind of sit on the fence - 50/50 as to whether it will work or not. She doesn't nap well in there, but then again, maybe she is tired enough and has become used enough to the crib for it to work. I'll let you know. ;)
Another last night - this is the last night she'll be able to wear my old terry cloth sleeper from when I was a baby - the pink one. (She's already outgrown the teal one.) Another milestone. As much as I look forward to her growing and changing, I don't want it to happen too fast. I guess maybe I'm a little melancholy about these things, but I am aware that as she grows I am one step closer to losing her to adulthood....I know that's stupid. My mom hasn't lost me - in fact, we're super close (which is a miracle considering how different we are!) I just wish I had some kind of absolute assurance that Anna Claire would grow up to love God and serve Him and to love us and stay close to us. But as we have daily proof, there are no guarantees and she will certainly grow to have a will of her own. Then again, I do have to remind myself that if we love her unconditionally and raise her to know God, then it's in His hands....and regardless of the fact that I struggle with my daily quiet time, I DO pray for her - regularly.....like I've never prayed for anyone before, ever. I am truly desperate that God always be at work in her life.
Like I said, we had to go to Graceville, well coming home was atrocious. She HATES her carseat all of a sudden (well since Thanksgiving really) and she screamed all the way home. It was awful. Andy handles screaming much better than I do - my nerves can't take it. Even he was getting stressed out though.