Andy comes home today! (imported from Myspace)

Yeah! Andy is coming home today! I am TIRED of being alone!! Now, the question is-will we go out to a nice dinner tonight or not? ("Yes" would be the preferred answer!)
I guess if not, I have two new books to read. (I reward myself when he leaves! haha) Or I could always work on my "To-Do" list (BORING!).
Sure am glad that my mom is coming to visit me next time Andy leaves out of town. Being alone is the pits. (At least after the first couple of days!).

Loving kids can hurt! (imported from Myspace)

Had girls bible study tonight. Amazing since I had planned to cancel it and reschedule for next week. I had contacted everyone (so I thought) and yet four girls showed up. So since the four were here, might as well have everyone come. So they did. Things were a little tense tonight at a point - nothing major though. We all kind of joked around some. We watched our video of the girls sleepover from last week. But one of the youngest got me aside and talked to me about something that had happened recently. Hurt my heart. Boy, when you get close to a group, it's amazing how you hurt right along with them. Which is just the way that I want it. Which is also part of the reason that I am thankful that our group is smaller and more close knit. I would rather have twenty or thirty that I can really minister to and "be there for" instead of fifty that I barely know their names. Easy choice. Small and close wins hands down. But that lends itself to a closeness that makes you vulnerable to their hurts. Plus, at their age - so many mistakes are made. So you are let down so often. But at the same time their successes are shared with you as well. Then you get to beam with pride at their progress. Regardless, though, I hate to see them do things that they will ultimately regret. And the hardest part is working with the kids that don't come from backgrounds that encourage right thinking and good decision-making. After all, like Andy reminds me, we get them after they have enjoyed twelve years of life already. That's twelve years of bad habits, or wrong thinking or whatever. (Or of course, the opposite also applies!) No matter what though, it gives me an opportunity to examine myself. It is far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be to explain even basic truths. Tonight though, my job was just to listen. This particular girl knew what she did was wrong (even though she kept trying to excuse her behavior-we all do that!). She did say that she felt badly about what she had been involved in and then we had a nice discussion about David and his sin. Of all things - she was worried about what "Ms. Rhonda" would think of her! Like I told her - it doesn't matter what Ms. Rhonda thinks - Ms. Rhonda is going to love you regardless - her sin wasn't against me. Ultimately, her sin - my sin - is all against God. That is hard for even me to grasp. But I encouraged her to read David's prayer of repentence to God in Psalm 51. "Against You, You only, have I sinned." That always touches me. My prayer is that I will be reminded that my sin is against the Lord. Like most folks - I am good at excusing myself.
Father - please forgive me where I fail you. Help me to see my sin for what it is. Help me to recognize that when I fail - I hurt YOUR heart, just the same as I hurt for my girls. Help me to seek holiness as a lifestyle, not just something to teach and sing about on Wednesday nights. Create in me a clean heart. Show me my hidden sin that I hide (or excuse) even from myself. Give me wisdom to handle the situations that present themselves to me with our youth in the way that you would. Please bless them and protect them even from themselves.

Ravi Zacharias biography was great! (imported from Myspace)

I finished my biography of Ravi Zacharias! It was great! I wanted to drop a couple of lines regarding some things that grabbed my attention. Good food for thought. This book reminded me how much I need to keep myself in the discipline of reading. I have been very lax....
Nonetheless...
"God had been in the shadows all along. Every step of the way-from the beautiful girl I met adn married, to the school where my theology was shaped, to the committed buddies God gave me-everything was being put back together. It was as if all the dismantling I'd done with the first seventeen years of my life was being given back to me, but this time the Lord was putting it together with His unerring hand."
When starting RZIM - Ravi proposed a different name for the new ministry. However, he was advised that "No, Ravi, so much has happened with people in ministry having gone astray. If you give this ministry your name, it will stand up behind your integrity, or fall with the lack of it."
"If the reasoning is sound, the feelings will follow. Feelings follow belief; belief, then, should follow truth."
"What life is about defines how life must be lived."
"Years later I would read an observation by G.K. Chesterton that, to me, summed up Victor's impact. Chesterton says, in essence, that there is a dislocation of humility in our times. We have become more confident in who we are and less in what we believe. Our pride has moved us from the organ of conviction to the organ of ambition, when it is intended to be the other way around. In short, our confidence should be in our message and not in ourselves."
"Our assumptions must be examined."
David Livingstone: "Lord, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. Sever any ties but the ties that bind me to your service and to your heart."

Beyond the Gates of Splendor (imported from Myspace)

Watched "Beyond the Gates of Splendor" last night. It is a documentary about the five missionaries killed by the Auca Indians in Ecuador in 1956, including Jim Elliott. Andy and I went to see "End of the Spear" when it was in theaters with several friends. I liked it, but this documentary was much better. Could be because I am a documentary junkie and I like the medium better. But anyway, all the widows of the five missionaries (including Elisabeth Elliott!) were interviewed, along with the children and pretty much anyone else who was a direct participant. It will choke you up to see these women tear up after fifty years. What an amazing testimony. What shocks me is their willingness to go and live with the very people who speared their husbands to death. I can safely say that I have not reached that level of spirital maturity yet. It stuns me. But it is a great flick - highly recommended. I am attempting to show it to our youth, but I don't think that they have "gotten" it like I had hoped. But I might not have either at their age. But at least they are exposed to it.

Andy is on vacation without me....poor Rhonda (imported from Myspace)

Boo hoo. Andy is on vacation without me. I couldn't get off of work on such short notice so I sent him on. He is visiting his grandparents, which is great. I am just kidding about feeling sorry for myself. I am the one who wanted him to go. It's good for him to spend time with them - after all, we never know how much time we have left with our loved ones. (Hopefully in this case, we will have many more years.) However, I didn't plan on him touring Savannah and Charleston without me! So I have been cleaning house. Organizing. I have set up my "Bills 2006" book. I have cleaned up the office. I have gone through my junk drawers and reduced it down to one true junk drawer. I have done all the laundry and regular cleaning that I was behind on. I have gone through the closet and organized clothes (still much more to do in that arena). I have cleaned out my car partially. (If you knew what my car looks like, you would know why I have only gotten partially finished! haha!). And I finished a particular project that I have been dreading for MONTHS! Talk about relief! I have a lot that I have not been able to complete though like hanging a new clothes bar in my closet and cleaning my tile floors. Oh, well. Not like he won't be going on male chorale tour in April. I will get another opportunity then, I suppose. I have also done a lot of relaxing - read a good Elizabeth George book and started Ravi Zacharias' biography. Ate dinner with friends. Watched a great documentary. This has been a good week. But boy, am I ready for Andy to come home!! I miss his company!

Chattanooga is great! (imported from Myspace)

nother blog related to my weekend trip to Chattanooga. When I was young, I spent every summer for about six years with my grandparents and relatives in Trenton, GA, which is about thirty minutes away from Chattanooga. I would go up just as soon as school got out and come home just as late before it started as possible. Once, I even had my aunt Vivian take me school clothes shopping to get to stay longer! Anyway, I was always around Chattanooga and it always appeared to me to be significantly inferior to Jacksonville. Never seemed to be as clean or have nearly as much personality. Well, I am here to tell you - the town has been transformed! I got a chance to go into downtown Chattanooga and walk around. Plus we drove around and up onto Lookout Mountain and to Covenant College. The whole area is beautiful. Of course it is already the foothills of the Appalachians, so the backdrop is great. But the downtown is alive and well. Lots of great shops and eating places (non-franchise, which I love!) Got a chance to walk across the "Walking Bridge" over to Coolidge Park where kids were throwing frisbees and playing catch. It borders the Tennessee River. There is an indoor carousel that lights up so big at night. Plus, in the summertime there are statues shaped like wild animals (lions and such) that shoot water from their mouths. We passed the Tennessee Aquarium, which is great fun. I have been there many times, but they have added two new buildings to it since I have been. There is of course the IMAX theater and the Tivoli theater that shows neat movies in an old-time atmosphere. The local Bijou Theater also has shows-I think it places emphasis on the newer movies. We also passed two museums and a center for performing arts that was preparing to begin all-youth cast of Romeo and Juliet. Driving up Lookout Mountain was really peaceful, with its twists and turns and overhanging trees. Then up on top the roadsigns are made to look antique and the area is known as "Fairyland" (I guess this ties in to the theme of Rock City - which is nearby). And that leads into the other thing I was going to mention - the attractions like Rock City, Ruby Falls and the caverns. There are biking trails at the Chickamauga Battlefield and lots of history to explore.The whole trip made me miss the close proximity of a big city. I miss being able to walk downtown and eat at a new restaurant with lots of ambiance. Andy and I did so many neat things while we were dating, more than just seeing movies and eating out. We made so many good memories in downtown Jacksonville. And even though Jacksonville will always be my hometown area - I no longer see it as superior. I think Chattanooga has a very unique feel to it. I didn't get the rushed, overcrowded feeling that I am seeing develop in Orange Park/Jacksonville. The traffic wasn't nearly so bad. When we left Sunday morning, I left feeling like I hadn't had enough time to explore the "new" Chattanooga. I think that Andy and I will have to visit together soon - both to see more of the town and my extended family. Lord knows we don't take time out to visit them often enough!

Dara's wedding (imported from Myspace)

I just got back today from a quick trip to Chattanooga to attend the wedding of my cousin Dara, who is three years older than me (28). She is a law librarian in Chattanooga and is (or rather, already has!) married a lawyer named Bryan. I have been so excited for her about this - seems to me that she has waited on God to bring her the right man. She is older than I was when I got married. I am not sure whether she experienced inner turmoil during the season of waiting, but what impresses me is that she DID wait. She didn't jump at just any man - she waited for God's man. You can tell just from a brief meeting with Bryan that he is committed - both to her and to the Lord. Their wedding reflected their mutual genuine desires to honor the Lord in the ceremony. Both sets of parents are examples of godly marriage and committed Christianity. His dad prayed the benediction prayer and her dad, Byron (my uncle), did the charge to the Bride and Groom. And what a charge! No pastor could have done better. Byron is an english teacher by trade anyhow, but he was so very eloquent and had such a powerful challenge. He had two brief points. That in order to guarantee success and honor God in your marriage that you should: 1) Love the Lord they God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength; and 2) To "Him" be true (an altered paraphrase of the quote from Hamlet, "To thine own self be true"). His challenge was that if we will love God and dedicate ourselves wholly to him that our marriage will fall in line in the way that it was designed to. I was challenged and renewed by it. (I dang near cried too! - still don't know how Byron got through it while standing there looking at Dara and Bryan all decked out in their wedding garb!)As an afterthought. Dara's dad is Byron. Her husband is Bryan. Her brother is Brandon. COULD WE PLEASE GET AWAY FROM NAMES BEGINNING WITH BR-!

Youth at the Male Chorale Concert (imported from Myspace)

I have to brag again! We went down to Andy's college in Graceville today and attended the Male Chorale Spring Concert. It was wonderful! (As always!) Some of my favorite guys down there had solos (including my dear husband - who remembered ALL the words to his song - I was so proud!). Matt and Josh both did great. So the concert was fantastic and I really enjoyed visiting with some folks that I don't see very often.But it was the youth that really encouraged me. Last time we attempted to get them to go to a concert like this we had TWO show up. This time we had SEVENTEEN! I was so excited by that alone. Then I was so proud of their behavior during the concert. They were attentive and involved. I loved watching them watch the pianist (who is amazing). She really got into it and showed a lot of expression just by the way she moved while she played. Several of the kids spoke to her just to let her know how much they enjoyed her performance. I am not a legalist. I am not going to harp day in/day out about the kind of music that the youth listen to. I believe that as they develop and grow in their walk with Christ that the Holy Spirit will help them to make good choices about their music. (This is not to say that I do not encourage having some standards). But I like some secular music and I know that they do too. But I do want them to be exposed to other types of music that they can enjoy - other than rock/alternative/etc. The Male Chorale is not exactly rock, if you know what I mean. But they really enjoyed it. I think they enjoyed being together also and that means a lot to me. Our youth group is not the largest in the area, but I really think we have one thing going for us - we are like family. I don't pick up on anyone being left out. I see the concern that they have for one another. The key is to protect this trait as we continue to see numerical growth in our group. But all in all, I was on cloud nine after the concert. I could not have asked for better behavior. Now, I am going to take a poll of what songs they enjoyed most. So far I have heard the following: 1 vote for "Rocks cry out", 2 votes for Empty Now, 1 vote for "Peace Will Be Mine" and 1 vote for "My God is so High" (Andy's solo). I am anxious to hear from the rest to see what they thought. I think they all enjoyed the worship set though. (Which, so did Andy and I - I wish we could worship like that on Sunday mornings at Cowarts!)

Girls Bible Study and MVP (.1) (imported from myspace)

have to brag - on my girls that is. We have been at Cowarts nearly two years now, and NOTHING has given me the fulfillment that being involved with the youth has given me. And there is nothing that I have been in charge of personally that has given me greater pleasure than my girls bible study. I mean, "teenagehood" is difficult - anybody would agree with that. I think though, that girls have a different kind of difficulty during that time. Girls want to connect. To feel that they aren't alone. To be understood on a deeper level. And at 12, 13, 14 their very nature wages war against that occurring. They are best friends with someone, and then they hate them. Ask them why and you can get a brilliant answer like "cuz she was talking 'bout me to so-and-so." Of course this answer is coupled with crossed arms and a certain stance. Ask the person she is mad at and she will deny all allegations and be mad just because the other one is mad. GREAT COMMUNICATION. And guys -- they will ditch a friend in a heartbeat over a guy. Forget that the guy will come and go within two to four weeks and the friend is gone forever. Anyway - this is what is normal. We see it all the time in our group. Some of it will come regardless of how "spiritually mature" your group is. I went through it too. But our girls have really started to grow and I am SO proud. Last week we had a talk about group unity, lifting each other up, not gossiping, etc. We want to create a "drama-free zone" (a brilliant term coined by Jennifer). We had so much division prior to the talk. Tonight we were down in number because of other interfering activities, but the spirit of our study was strikingly different. The older ones included the younger. The younger were more respectful and WAY less moody. Overall, even though we didn't get as far in our study as I had hoped, we made progress.As always, I just want the girls to grow. Together, and with God. I really have to give them kudos - they are doing just that. What's funny is that you can watch them - the ones that think they have you fooled are so transparent. The ones that are really growing are easy to spot. And so, in honor of this achievement, I am going to start something in my blog - I am going to announce my MVP. I will not do this all the time, or even on a weekly basis. When I am struck by something that one of my youth have done, I am going to report it. Who knows who reads my musings (probably nobody), but at least maybe through word of mouth I can brag on someone specifically. Tonights MVP is . . . . (drum roll, please) . . . Jennifer! Already said that she started the drama-free zone - that was great in itself. But I sense in Jennifer a desire to grow, both spiritually and personally. She is faithful. She is honest. She is becoming a leader in our group. She prayed last week when nobody else would. Took courage for her - it was out of her comfort zone. But I believe that Jennifer can go far beyond where she is now. Oh, yes - she has great potential.