Dear Diary (or other friend who chooses to make it through my stream-of-consciousness, exhausted, way-too-wordy discourse):
Been a tough semester. I've had a ton of stuff going on at the church the first half of this term, and so, I got behind. Which I swore to myself I wouldn't do, but alas, here we are. So, I've been working like a crazy person to catch up. I made all A's last semester and really wanted to again, but I'm not sure I can manage it in one class. I mean, the world won't end if I get a "B," but I will be a little saddened all the same. I need to continuously prove to myself that I am still smart. Sounds stupid I know.
One benefit of taking an awesome Forensic Psychology class is being forced to read, which I generally really enjoy, but fail to make time to do. I just finished a book called Without Conscience, about psychopaths and it was riveting. Really enjoyed it. I know, I'm a complete nerd.
Andy's been out of town on tour with the Male Chorale and he's had a really good time. I'm glad he is home now though. We had a good service tonight at church though. One of the youth guys, Josh, taught our lesson, and I just beamed with pride. Takes a lot of courage to teach in front of your peers. We all feel like failures inside, and we all know our own weaknesses, so for me, teaching is a challenge because I feel like, "well, who am I" to try to teach. So I was really happy about Josh doing it, and doing it so well.
I am also lamenting the fact that I have no friends. I mean, I have online, old friends, but close-by friends.......very, very limited and very shallow relationships. I hope someday to have some girlfriends that I can laugh and talk with like I used to have. I had a nice dinner with Carrie recently and really enjoyed being around somebody who knows me. Andy and I also went out with another couple last Friday, and I got to be around another person near my age, which I enjoyed. Then tonight I talked to a girl on the phone that I really like who lives in NC. Leah's on myspace now too, but we are both so busy. So, it's like, I like people, but no relationships that are close enough by that they can really be cultivated the way I would like to. One of these days I am going to call these old friends and see if we can't do a girls weekend out - us all meet somewhere in the middle and share hotel expenses - who knows, maybe we can even get a kitchenette so we can make our own meals (we'd have to make sure Cher a/k/a Betty Crocker came to cook for us). Anyway, just rambling now, but it would be fun.
Well, I need to go to bed, though I don't want to. Tomorrow is my last day at work until vacation, so I need to get lots done. Sometimes it is hard to "work" at work because my boss is so hands off. I need him to look at things, which he won't do, and then they don't get done and he wonders why. Sometimes I get mad, sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I don't care. It's very frustrating because I like him so well.
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