12-23-2009 - We're pregnant!!

Found out this morning that we are expecting a little one!  What a wonderful Christmas surprise!  It's nice that Andy's grandparents are coming tonight, and then my parents are coming tomorrow......we will have big news to share!

But I didn't really think I was - my period was late, but not by much - 4 or 5 days.  Had a test at home, and took it first thing in the morning......it immediately gave the plus sign.  But it was early......and I wasn't fully awake - yet.  So, I took it in to Andy and said, "Does this mean what I think this means?"  He saw me with the test and said, "You're pregnant?!!"  I told him I wasn't sure and he re-read the instructions and got so excited!  Usually, he is so groggy in the mornings, very slow to wake up, but not this morning!  We were both so excited! 

I hated to get my hopes up too much though, so I went immediately to Walgreens on the way to work and bought the most expensive test I could find and took it - yup, positive again!  So, I called the doctor's office and they were able to work me in that morning to do the blood test and confirm it so we could announce our wonderful news at Christmas!

Thoughts on buying a car.

Alas, my car is done. It has served faithfully and has reached retirement age. I really wanted to get another year from it, but that's not to be. This all happened last Tuesday - gave car to Kennon to fix the idle speed motor and he calls to tell me that the computer is going bad. Well, to make a long story short(er), it seemed irresponsible to put $1000 into a car with a KBB value of $2000. Sooooo.....we are in the long process of researching and buying a car.

I talked to Dad about this situation, but have chosen to try to go it alone. Dad would not approve of anything regardless, unless I buy a super cheap yuck car. (Ironically, this yuck car would be something he would never be willing to drive!) I can't afford something brand new without getting something extremely dull. Anything used he is going to suspect (and possibly rightly so). So, since I appear to be danged if I do, and danged if I don't, then I think this is one of those times that it will prove to be better to ask forgiveness than permission!! :) At least this way I won't offend him by not taking his advice or not taking his concerns seriously - which is how he would perceive it. I feel good about my research and comparisons - at least I know that I have been inordinately thorough.

I am ready to buy though. After spending a week on this, I am sick of worrying about breaking down and I'm just about tired of research, banks and car shopping. So, it's time for them to give me their best prices so I can know whether or not to move on and can make a decision

We are heavily leaning towards a 2006 Nissan Murano. We looked at a 2009, but for the similarity in cost/payment considerations, the 2006 has lots more features and options that we like. We took the 2006 to Kennon today and he checked it out this morning. He was pleased with the choice of a Murano - says it is a good, solid vehicle - says it rarely has engine/transmission problems,but that he has seen radiator problems. I am EXHAUSTED though.

Anyway, I say all that to say, I feel good about where I am headed financially (as much as I can in encountering a payment). I am within the budgeted amount I wanted to be, with an interest rate that I am fine with. I have researched both consumer and expert reports on these vehicles and checked carfacts on both the 2009 and 2006. Both are clean. I have talked with Papa and he has talked to Uncle Steve. I have checked every single large dealership in the SE Alabama, NW Florida and SW Georgia area online, craigslist, ebay and the Dothan Eagle. I've checked both KBB value and NADA value and I am WAY under MSRP on the 2009 and the 2006. I feel pretty good. Kennon is my ace in the hole - if he says it's a go, then I trust him. I am still playing with the dealership regarding tires, warranty, etc. - don't know if anything will come of it. But I think that with all this talking, checking, reading, research that I am okay without Dad being involved. I'd love his help if he could help without trying to force the decision, but I know that he's not great at that. Also, Andy is kind of territorial about our finances and how much other people know, and I can understand that fully.

Ugh......

Man, oh man. Both Kristin and Aditha claim Christianity. I doubt either one could tell you why, and therefore, I doubt that either have ever been truly converted. Actually based on my history with both, I am certain that both are lost. It's not that either even really identify with Christianity - they just don't identify with any other religious conviction.

That being said, both posted the same pro gay marriage video on Facebook. Not because they are pro everybody being gay, but because they feel that gay people should be allowed to marry for love just like anyone else. I'm not upset with either of them - I mean, if I weren't a Christian, then I am confident I would feel the same way. Also, I do not feel that attacking their position is the proper response. This political/social position is only an expected response from someone who doesn't know Christ. Without Him, why would gay marriage pose a problem? If you don't submit to Christ's authority, if you aren't "bought with a price" and subject to God's standards and laws, then of course, supporting a lifestyle He abhors is not a problem.

This leads me to the conclusion that the real problem is not their societal views and convictions (or lack thereof), but their lost condition. Note to self: pray for Aditha and Kristin that they would both come to know Jesus. If they truly give themselves to Him, everything else will fall in line in time.

Idolatry

Thinking about idolatry. Several things have been serving as a stimulus to this train of thought. It's so easy to box idolatry into an "easy to avoid" category - lumping it into thoughts only associated with Hindus and little statues of Buddha. It's so much more prevalent than this - certainly more prevalent in my own life than I would like to imagine.

Andy introduced us to a song called "Clear the Stage" by a guy named Ross King that is beyond powerful. Some of the lyrics say:

"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it."

Huh? Anything I want can be an idol? Anything I love can be an idol? What I think about can be an idol? But those things seem harmless, right? Well - possible, until we compare how hard Jesus has to fight these things for our (MY!) attention!

The ongoing emotional rollercoaster that is Kim's life is another reminder. I feel incredibly sorry for her, as to what has happened in the past - losing William, Phillip. That being said, I am at the point of frustration regarding how she is handling her current singleness. She is miserable. That, I do understand - I would be too. But instead of pouring that misery into drawing near to God, finding new ministry opportunities, making new friendships - she seems to just wallow in the loneliness and pine for Roger. I like Roger - I really do! I would love nothing better than to see them end up together. But for the present, Roger is NOT God's will for her. How can I be certain? Because he is not walking with God. Period. Not attending church - not learning to be her spiritual leader. God does not want us to be unequally yoked and right now, there is no fruit in Roger's life. I believe his conversion was real and I believe that God will work out the issue of sanctification. But until that occurs, Roger is off-limits. Skip told her that if her friendship with Roger isn't bringing her closer to God, then it is pulling her away from God.

Secondly, women shouldn't chase men. I think she is doing a little better in this, but her tendency is definitely to try to manipulate circumstances.

Thirdly, we should not obsess over any person - spouse/love interest. God is our first priority. Or at least, he is supposed to be.

Tonight I tried to challenge her a little to refocus her focus. You could tell she wanted no part of that. Quick "I knows" - brush offs - told me that she wasn't interested in being called to look at the fullness of her life, not the emptiness - but that she was only interested in telling me WHY she is constantly lonely. Again - I know she is lonely - I know I would be lonely, but I hope that someone would (at some point!) call me to a higher standard.

Maybe it's my mom coming out in me. Or maybe it's just time to "take every thought captive." Man, what would the world think if we really hid the Word in our heart and allowed our Christianity to make us overcomers and victorious over our emotions.

I should go now and start working on my memorization......

Just a regular life update.

Judgement House is near about to kill me and Andy. He is working nonstop, and so am I. Judgement House is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday each week. Then church on Sunday and Wednesday. Leaves only Friday for anything "fun." I certainly hope that the work makes a serious difference in lives for the time investment. I think it does though. I signed up for counseling, which hasn't been the most enjoyable experience. Some of the people in counseling are awesome, and I think would be very effective at it: Jim Massey, Jim Hunter, Bill Mitchell, Leah Plummer, Lewis Mallory, Mac Woodham. It's weird - I feel ill-prepared, but I feel strongly that the Holy Spirit will guide me through it. So, even though I am uncomfortable with it, I do feel adequate. I study for the purpose of BEING prepared for these situations and I believe that in moments of need, the Holy Spirit will give me recall of what I have read and studied. That being said, I feel insecure with some of the other counselors - they come on so strong and want us to be more pushy with it. Also, I know that Andy doesn't think I am confident, which is a little discouraging, but it's hard to articulate that you aren't comfortable, but you are capable.....does that make sense? Anyway, it's not been the best experience ever for me, and I'll be glad when it's over, but it does strech me and I do feel like I am deliberately making myself available for God to use in new ways.

Awesome youth service last night. Everything was smooth and well-prepared which made a great difference. You could tell that things had been thought through - everything from the music service, to Katherine's prayer, Andy's message. The fruit showed in the response. I know that every service won't have a response like that one, but I think it shows that are kids are responsive and free. And that's positive. I am proud of the change I see in them - they haven't arrived, but they are working at it.

Had 50 kids last night - up from 39 the week before. Russell still wasn't there, which is sad. He really needs an understudy if he is going to be absent this often. Cody is probably the best pick, but I know that he will have a hard time "fitting" with the rest of the praise band. But hey, he may bring a new and fresh attitude. Plus his presence would help other parts of our youth group connect with the band - the Caleb Cobb, Rachel Massey-types that are totally different from the rest of the band. It might be a good thing. Regardless, I think Andy will probably lean towards making a decision soon just because of the need for a bass player. I don't want Russell to feel replaced though....he is a special young man and I think God is working in him. Something I should pray about.

Nathan Cobb was there last night. I have been making deliberate efforts to talk to him. I should be praying for him too. (Note to self!) He fits like a round peg in a square hole in our group. I know that moving from Webb was very painful, and I know his personality is not exactly a joiner, like Davidson is. But I worry about how he will end up if someone doesn't invest in him and try to draw him out. I think he's a good boy, just has been burned by his last experiences at Webb. Anyway, he seemed pleased that I noticed him last night and Josh Watford came over and talked to him and he received his conversation pleasantly enough, so hopefully it was a good night for him. Ultimately, I can't make him fit or make him want to be there, but I at least want to know that I've made an effort with him.

Andy's ortho treatment is progressing - he's wearing rubber bands now to fix his bite - I hope they work quickly so that he can get back to playing his trumpet sooner versus later!!

Emma Talley didn't take me up on lunch yesterday, so next week I am going to invite Sydney Coates out for lunch and try to get to know her better. I am a little nervous that it might get back to Caitlyn and her feel left out. I have plans to invite Caitlyn soon, but hopefully it won't be a problem. But I really want to keep it one-on-one.....that way I can really connect with each one individually.

Sylvia's surgery went well today - cancer was not in her lymph nodes, so praise God for that!

I am extremely excited about my new couches!! I found them on Craigslist in Columbus (of all places!!). I talked to the guy repeatedly and he told me that they were in good condition with minor nicks from the cat. The pictures showed no nicks at all. Well, I get there and the couches had a LOT of nicks from cat claws. I was SO disappointed. They were VERY noticeable and ugly in the light. If I had been alone (without Andy) I probably wouldn't have bought them. I worked so hard to make sure everything was just right and then when I got there I just couldn't make Andy have driven up there and made all the arrangements to be away from Judgement House and borrow the enclosed trailer for nothing. So, I went ahead and bought them against my better judgement

BUT HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS!! I stopped at Bed, Bath & Beyond on the way home to buy leather repair stuff - they didn't have it, so I just bought a good conditioning/cleaning cream. ($10 - so it better be good!) WELL IT IS!! I CANNOT believe the difference. You can't even tell that there were nicks hardly at all, and these were BAD nicks. The couch was just so dry that it made every little blemish really show out. I finished the couch and the loveseat yesterday and I was THRILLED. They look nearly brand new. SOOOOOOO excited! I went from thinking I'd wasted my $650 to thinking I got the steal of the year! :) haha (A good deal considering when we went to Ashley to price reclining leather sofas that the cheapest that they had a set for was about $1,800! And guess what - they are SO much more comfortable!! :)

Now for the redecorating! I am going today to try to find a new area rug. The couches being solid need a patterned rug to add interest to the room.

I am so grateful for my new furniture though - now I am not embarassed to have guests - no more stinky, stained carpet OR ugly, faded, ripped furniture!! God is so good to us.

I still am hoping that we can figure out a way to build a dining room into the garage. I desperately would like to be able to have dinner parties. Need to pray about that and research it some more.....

Interconnection between prayer and trust in God

From SS lesson:

"A life of trust does not relegate prayer to last resort status. People who walk closely with God tend to talk with Him first when needs arise. A person's or congregation's choice to pray in time of need is one indication of trusting God. The deeper the trust in God, the more fervent will be the asking for His help."

Learning doctrine by learning church/reformation history

Has an interesting conversation with Josh Reif today on Facebook. I asked him how he developed an interest in doctrine at such a young age – his answer surprised me. It wasn’t catechisms, or direct teaching from a youth pastor or the pulpit.......it was church history. He said that his church regularly discussed the reformation and different reformers and as he learned about Luther, Huss, Wycliffe and others, the stories and what caused the drama intrigued him. Then he wanted to learn what was being taught and how their views differed. This led him into being interested in different perspectives on doctrine within the modern church. A VERY interesting approach, and one that I think we could incorporate into our youth discipleship very easily. What better way than to excite the imagination and have them draw sides based on their limited understanding? Hopefully, differing opinions can lead to their playing “devil’s advocate” with each other and learning a great deal.

Frankly, I need to learn some about this – this gives me a reason to buy a new book!

Considering others' needs

In my S.S. lesson commentary I found this wonderful nugget:

"Growing spiritually has broader purposes than an individual's spiritual insight. Learning is for living. Maturing is for serving. Actually, teaching has not occurred unless learning has happened. Learning has not taken plance unless the learner's life is changed, enhanced and enabled to live in a more Christlike fashion and to serve others in Christ's name. Said yet another way, to know Christ is to love Him; to love Him is to become more like Him; and to be like Him is to meet others' needs."

Lord, help me to be aware of others' needs around me. I am blessed beyond belief, and want to be generous. My study tonight in 1 Tim 6:17-19(?) talked about those who are rich doing good, being generous and willing to share - well, as Americans we are all rich. I am rich. Despite my concerns about money, You are so faithful to meet all my needs and most of my wants. Help me to be aware of opportunities that you bring my way to give to others and bless them in Your name. Help me to lay treasure in Heaven, not here on earth where it is subject to theft and degradation - so that my heart will be in Heaven as well. Help me not to be like the rich fool and find my security in how much I can amass. You are my security. You are my high tower. Your name is my safe place. Thank you for the confidence that I can have in Your character and goodness. Even in difficulty I can trust Jer. 29:11 that Your plans are good towards me and that You work all things out for my good (Romans 8:28). I must continually remind myself of these truths - I pray that they will become a part of me and I can latch onto them whenever I face storms in my life.

Jesus' claims/Nature of true worship - Matt. 7:24-26

I am using John MacArthur's daily devotional Daily Readings From the Life of Christ for my quiet time. I really like it because it goes verse by verse through Matthew. (There is a sequel coming out this year and I'm excited about it too!)

Today he was continuing to look at the Samaritan woman in Matt. 7:24-26. "The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that Onecomes, He will declare all things to us.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.” I am astounded that people say that Jesus never claimed to be the Messiah.

I also liked a statement John MacArthur made: "True worship does not consist of mere outward conformity to religious standards and duties; it springs from the inner spirit. It must also be consistent with the truth God has revealed about Himself in His Word. The extremes of dead orthodoxy (truth and no spirit) and zealous heterodoxy (spirit and no truth) must be avoided." I need to make sure that my devotion and service stem from the inner person, and not just checking off a list of do's and don'ts - as an act of worship from the spirit.

Alone

I am home alone tonight. In theory it might be fun to go out with a girlfriend and have coffee, or a light dinner, or whatever. Unfortunately, it appears that I repel everyone even remotely interesting. I can't figure out what I do, or if it really is me, but man - I have NO friends. People think I am kidding when I say that, but it's the truth. Kim is my only friend. Period. There are no others.

And I don't want it to be this way. I've tried very hard to build relationships, but people are just not interested. My dad in his profound wisdom thought it would be helpful to tell me that, "to have friends, you have to be a friend." Wow.....really? You had to say that? Talk about UNhelpful and INsensitive. But he doesn't know any better. He doesn't know that I have worked my butt off to build relationships. That every person I feel rejected by is a relationship that I have sought, I have tried to nurture....usually without a lot of help from the opposing party. That I return every email. Every call immediately. Every facebook comment. Every effort made by anybody to build a relationship with me, I try to be responsive to. If they are trying in any way, then I try to let them know that they are important. I reschedule my life and do things I am not interested in doing, all to try to have friendships. I don't know what else I COULD do except for start inviting people I am absolutely not interested in (like Melissa) to do things. But sometimes you want to be with a friend, not be in a ministry situation.

But tonight I thought I might try to get together with someone, even though it would be late notice. Surely SOMEONE would be able to do something. Nope. Texted Emily Flowers, and she was legitimately busy. (Her dad is in the hospital with blood clots in his lungs.) Also, she was kind and responsive and I really think she might be a potential friend. (Although, I am afraid to hope, so I am just assuming it's not going to work out until I determine otherwise. Easier to not be hurt that way.)

Then I texted Victoria. She had errands. I guess the errands went from 4:45 until 9:30 because there was no time for a quick dinner. She says she wants to get together next week, but I'll believe it when I see it. I have asked her out every time we have ever done anything, and the past several times she just didn't to get out of the house, so I don't see it likely that she is interested. (If spending time with me ranks underneath yard work, then I don't see a blossoming friendship.)

Then I texted Kim and got one of her famous one or two word responses with no punctuation. I hate those. The kind of that make you feel that you are interrupting someone's nice life. I'd rather no response at all. But Kim is a genuine friend and even if we annoy one another, I have no doubt that she loves us and we love her. So, although I was disappointed, it's no big deal because there is an established relationship there.

Then I texted Julie (against my better judgment). Kim and Andy both have advised me to leave her alone, since she is such an on-again/off-again friend, which is really no friend at all. But I really feel like I know her character and that this new Julie isn't the real one. Plus, I like her better than anyone else I've met since we've moved to Alabama. That makes it hard to completely give up on the relationship, although I'm close. I knew that when I was restraining myself from texting her that I was probably indulging myself in a bit of bitterness, so I thought it might be best to just invite her and if she accepted we could discuss what's going on between us. Well, she had a couple of softball games. I probably would've driven out to watch her, if she had invited me, but oh well. (She probably didn't think I would be interested, but I would do nearly anything to have a friend.) Anyway, she asked about another day, and I mentioned tomorrow since Andy has judgment house practice again, but she may be going to see a Troy game with Chris. So, I just dropped it. She can try next time. If she really liked me, she would try. I may have left her with the opinion that I was mad from my email last week, but at least now that I contacted her, if she doesn't ever contact me from here on out, I can know that it is because she doesn't want to be friends and not because she thought I was angry. I expect nothing where she is concerned. That's tragic too, because like I said, I REALLY liked Julie. She is what I would look for in a best friend.

Then I texted Brittany, who didn't even bother to text back. She may not have gotten it, but she has a history of texting when she wants something and never any other time. It's aggravating.

Then I texted Yahnna. She was going to Judgment House practice too. I thought she might be alone - that her family might all be there, and she might be free. But I assume I was wrong. Don't know for sure, since she didn't text back.

Was going to text Kaci, but Kaci has a family that is young and a husband in full-time school. Her life is busier than I can imagine, and I am so grateful that she is even my acquaintance. She is the one person who is almost always consistent. She may not talk theology, or be interested in current events or really even have any common interest with me, but she is kind, funny and consistent. That counts for a dang lot.

There. Despite the fact that it sounds like I am angry at all these people, I'm not. They're good people. I just wish someone liked me. Someone that actually knew me for real. Andy is the best friend and husband I could ask for, but even at that, you still just want a girlfriend sometimes.

Reunion

I never cease to be amazed at local Alabama's reaction to high school football. Everyone comes out - whether they are in high school, have kids in high school or not. Baffles me utterly. Anyway, we went to one of these community gatherings last night for Ashford High's Homecoming game. Since neither Andy or I are particularly crazed over organized sports, we certainly weren't there for the game, which turned out to be a good thing, because we couldn't have watched it if we HAD wanted to! We sawJonathan Hughes, Jennifer Maddox, Jana Calhoun, Brittanie Harrison, Cody Jones, Dan McGriff, Dana Still, Blake Weed and several others from the stands.

Sometimes, when you are in the middle of ministry - the trenches, so to speak - it's kind of being in a fog. You can see your hands, and what's going on directly around you, but you can't really focus on anything too far from where you are standing. You know you are working hard, you know that you are loving hard, you know that you are catching flack from time to time, you know that every now and then a kid "gets it," but you never really know if what you do is having a longterm impact.

As for our ministry at Cowarts, I can't really say even one year out if anything really made a longterm difference or not, but I pray it did. By the reaction of kids we saw last night, at least I have no doubt that we did make an impact, based on their reaction upon seeing us. What a blessing to see young adults that you've known for years, that you have tried to pour yourself into, that you've loved through good and bad times and then see them notice you, then recognition dawn, followed by "Brother Andy!!" or "Ms. Rhonda!!" Oh, the joy. It's bittersweet though, because although I do want them to love me, I want so much more for them to fall in love with Jesus. And in most of these cases, that hasn't happened yet. You wonder if it is even possible to help assist and override the parental example and their raising. But then I look at myself, and think that if ever someone should not be doing what she is doing, then that would be me. My parents are moral, but fascinated with Christ, faithful in church, they are not. I've never walked in on my parents praying, individually or jointly. I've never seen my dad open his bible outside of church. I should be just as lackadaisical. In fact, I should be one step farther - I should be completely detached. I should have written off Christianity as irrelevant based on the fact that it wasn't capable of changing my parents marriage and saving me the grief of growing up in such a tense environment. I should have invested myself in men, finding comfort and solace in their arms, along with intellectualism, achievement and pleasure. Praise God that we do not have be a product of our raising! Praise God that He is capable and willing to pluck us from our circumstances and give us opportunity after opportunity to lead a different life than what our parents could have lead us to. I will evermore be awed by and intensely grateful for how He worked in my life to bring me into a closer walk with himself. My experience may not be as shocking as Paul's Damascus Road experience, or Jonah's experience with the whale, but I have no doubt that God's hand was just as real in guiding and protecting me from what could've been. Working out events for His good pleasure and setting me aside in the same manner that He has set aside all of us who are "called by His name."

But back to my reunion story. Our Cowarts kids have choices, but I have to trust that, yes, they can move beyond their upbringing. That the God who wooed me, is capable of working through their difficulties, their mistakes to make Himself known. That's my prayer. And of course, any way we can help - to continue to be part of the "means" to God's ends, then of course, we want to be available for that as well! :)

What a way/day to start!

To say that "tomorrow never comes" is to speak truth. I am guilty of continually putting off good plans to a later time that will better suit my *softer* side.....the weaker side of my person. The side of me that wants to delay is generally the side that is unable to exercise in self-discipline, unwilling to learn self-control, uninterested in self-denial. Frankly, it's the part of me that keeps me from the greatest blessing. It's the "old man" that Paul spoke of in _______. I have so much passion to do more - to be more - to excel - to grow. But yet, I continue to waste hours of my brief existence instead of making them count. Well, I would love to say a hearty, "no more!" however, I am under no illusion as to what I am made up of and what my personal strength can accomplish.

I do claim that Phil _____, that I AM capable of all things through Christ and His strength. I know that part of God's character is that He is working all things to my benefit (Romans 8:28), that He has good plans for those He loves (Jer. 28:11). As such - I need to align myself with Him. I need to seek Him first ( ), so that everything else falls into place.

On a practical note - what areas of my life am I most convicted over.....let's see. First off - my personal ministry. I have not sold out in this area, partly due to laziness and partly due to insecurity because of other women in my midst. Even though I know that girls need more than one influence, I have been mistaken in how I have handled this particular issue. Territorialism on the part of adult women towards their younger counterparts is not holy or beneficial. I will not give myself over as a willing captive to this insecurity any longer. My husband was called to Bethel, therefore I am called to Bethel. I was not called to be pretty and look nice on his arm. I was not called to be gracious evermore, to the exclusion of doing what is right. I was not called to be inactive and waste my time, and bypass opportunities to bless those around me (Do not withhold good when it is in your power to do so...). So I intend to take my personal ministry with the girls in general, and specifically my Sunday School class much more seriously. Step 1: I will set aside Wednesday afternoons as prime time for relationship building. I will select one girl for a while to try to get to know each Wednesday - take her to dinner and then bring her back to church. This will not interfere with my time with Andy or with their homework time. Seems to me to be a good plan. Some girls that I feel drawn to are: Presley, Rachel M., Emma, Rebecca, Sydney. I will start with them.

Other areas of conviction. My bible study time. I have already been taking action in this area and have felt the blessings of increased familiarity with scripture. It is certainly true that the more you study, the more you realize you do not know and the more hunger you have to learn. (Prayer: May I never succumb to the temptation to learn intellectually at the expense of being taught by the Spirit.) I have been studying Esther, I Timothy and Acts. I have been sorely lacking in my understanding of how Acts fits with the gospel narratives and through teaching it in Sunday School, I have had the opportunity to try to really "get it." What a joy! How amazing to learn the story of how the church began and really leave with a firmer understanding of the history! My prayer is that I can excite the girls under my tutelage, and inspire a hunger for the Word longterm.....Lord, please show me how to do this - give me skills that are above my own. Without Your involvement and guidance, I am incapable.

Another note of conviction: my prayer life. One one - stinks. I find prayer to be the hardest spiritual discipline, bar none. I am reading Michael's Catt's book on the history of Sherwood Baptist and how God has moved mightily there and am absolutely reminded of the power of prayer and how it aligns us with God's purposes and direction. To fail to pray is a sin (pray without ceasing.) and as such, I am continually sinful. I MUST dedicate myself to improving in this area. Not so I can check it off my list, but so that I can become more in tune with what God is doing around me, and be an active participant as part of the means to God's ends.

Awesome Stuff God Has Done - Stove

[Approx. Date] February 2009: I got a new refrigerator in January 2009 after mine died.  Since it was stainless steel-look/black I wanted to get new appliances to match.  I knew that I could not afford new appliances at this time, but I glanced to look through craigslist to see what was listed.  I saw that a stove “glass top, stainless steel” was listed.  I thought to myself that it was highly unlikely that anyone would sell a really nice stove – since a stove is one of things you keep until it breaks or is totally out of style.  I did email the lady and requested pics – she said she would have it out at her yard sale tomorrow.  I thought to myself that I was not going to get up that early in the morning to go look at a stupid stove that would surely never match or work for me.  I had been convicted about purchasing too quickly off craigslist (XBOX) so I prayed that if God wanted me to go to the yard sale that he would wake me up early enough to go.  (I never get up before 9 a.m. on Saturday and the yard sale started at 8 a.m.)  The next morning the XBOX repairman called me at 7:25 a.m. so then I felt *obligated* to go to this yard sale, knowing what I had prayed the night before.  I went, not thinking that the stove would work, and lo and behold it was THE VERY stove that I had picked out on Lowe’s as the stove that I would want.  It was the brand and color of my refrigerator.  I got a $598 stove for $175!!  So amazing.   ~ (To make things a little weirder, the woman having the yard sale had purchased two pictures from me off craigslist the previous week, but we didn’t realize when we were emailing about the stove that it was the very same woman!)

2009 update (imported from Myspace)

I haven't blogged in an extremely long time. Either that means I haven't needed to let off stress (unlikely) or it means that there has been too much to do to allow me the free time to indulge! We are loving our new church - Bethel Baptist in Dothan. It's a full-time youth position, whereas before Andy was Music/Youth full-time. It's funny though - he does as much music now than he did before. Although we miss a few friends at the old church, overall this is a much better fit for us and we have total peace that it was a God-thing. Hard for me to believe, but we have already been there nearly nine months. I am grateful to be through with school for now - I finally finished in October. I love to learn and I enjoy the discipline that school forces me to develop, but it's nice to have some time to be involved in Andy's ministry, clean the house (::gasp::) and try to just live a little versus existing in a constant state of chaos and stress. I'd love to go on to law school, which was the plan when I went back, but school loans being what they ALREADY are, I hate to add more to them. Plus, the drive to Montgomery daily would be a killer.....I may reconsider later on down the road. There's no doubt that I do NOT want to be working in this same capacity in ten years. But hey, we'll cross that bridge a little way down the road. It's vastly more important that Andy be able to afford to finish his masters right now.We're going on an awesome trip to the Grand Canyon/Las Vegas in May - I am beyond pumped about it! It's been a year since we took a "real" trip and I am ready to go! I got a killer deal offline (I surprised even myself this time) and so we are going to be able to fly out and stay five nights for what a stupid cruise would have cost. Probably less than the stupid cruise. The deal even came with two free tickets to a Cirque de Soleil show, so I am excited about that too.Otherwise, life is good. Which equates that it is just normal - you do the same thing everyday and somehow, that's alright....even fun.

Awesome Stuff God Has Done - XBOX 360

[Approx. Date] January 2009: Got an XBOX 360, plus 6 games, including Guitar Hero and a Guitar ($600 total value) for $150 off craigslist!