1-2-11 - I got to see BETH MOORE!!!!

Wow, what a day! It's not everyday that you get to see your biggest role model in person! She taught a great lesson about the mind, capturing every thought. Never ceases to be a challenging topic! The battlefield truly is in the mind. Beth said several things in the first session that were of note, but my sleepy mind can only remember the highlights of the day at the moment. The thing that sticks out to me at the moment, was her statement that we can't necessarily change the way we feel, but we can change the way we think, which will ultimately change how we feel AND how we react to those feelings. We may not like something about our past, but we can think about it differently and the hold it has on us will change. She gave the example that in her situation of childhood abuse, that when she stopped thinking of it from a victimization perspective, but as a ministry perspective - stopped saying "why me" but instead basically, "how can you use this, Lord" then He changed the hold it had on her life. Incredible story - very powerful.

I was challenged in the first session that I must do better with guarding my thought patterns, conforming myself to Christ, renewing my mind. The text spoke of renewing our mind, so that we can know God's perfect will for our lives. It's one of those conditional statements. I do not want to miss the details of God's perfect will for me because I refuse to sit in His presence and allow the Spirit to renew my mind.

I also went to a breakout session with Brenda Brown and Donna Granberry that Beth led. It was really good too. She talked in that session about delighting in God - exploring Psalm 37. She said, "What takes a bite out of our delight?" Then she used the acrostic "J-A-W" and went through the idea that J-ealousy, A-nger and W-orry steal our delight (based upon the passage). Oooh....she made a comment about jealousy - that if a person does something well, and we feel the need to lessen their success (well, she didn't do as well as she did LAST time...., etc.) then it's not a problem with the person, its revealing something we don't like about OURSELVES. We are jealous of their Christian conviction, talent, faith, etc......and we don't see it in ourselves or we wish we had their talents for our own. Man, oh, man....Lord, don't let me try to steal the glory from you by diminishing the offerings of others. Let me serve you wholeheartedly in my own way, the way that YOU intend for me to do!

Anna Claire did great, as usual, though. We couldn't bring the stroller, as they weren't allowed in, but Andy wore her in the baby bjorn and she slept on his chest for the first session. So cute! She was squirmy later in the breakout session, and wanted to "sing" happily for everyone, so Donna offered to take her out for me. :)

It was special having her there though - listening to such a godly woman speak, being challenged to be the kind of woman that I want Anna Claire to emulate (SUCH a huge responsibility) and having my sweet baby daughter asleep against me in the bjorn. The complete peace that she shows when she sleeps so soundly against me warms my heart. It's hard to describe the emotion, but while she laid there, I thought to myself that as much as I look forward to having fun with her when she is bigger, there is no part of me that wants to rush this time.....I wouldn't give up this memory and this time for anything! She is so precious to me and I love her beyond words. I have never been more grateful to God for anything - and I have never understood James 1:7 as I do now. (Although I do realize it encompasses all gifts - spiritual and otherwise.)

Francis Chan spoke tonight about making our lives line up with what we say we believe. That's a biggie too. I know Andy really enjoyed it because he texted me about it. I look forward to hearing his thoughts. Francis has evidently taken some time recently to meet with the persecuted church in India, China and Thailand and his stories were powerful. The thread throughout all their stories was the joy that marked their lives, even when being persecuted. I get scared about the possibility of persecution in the future, but isn't it reassuring to think that under those conditions, that God just pours His grace on believers, enabling them to endure and even to rejoice! I have to remind myself that we are given grace for what WE are asked to do, not for tomorrow. I just need to live faithfully today.....and I have sooooo far to go. Lord, forgive me for being so unfaithful to your word, to prayer, for living in a way that is too dependent on myself and subconsciously believing that I can be a good wife/mom without you. I may not believe that intellectually, but by neglecting YOU, my actions show my lack of dependence! Forgive me, Lord! Help me to change through Your power and help my life line up with what I believe! I know that everything that is beautiful in my life is YOU, and anything that would attract others to me is also YOU. Please develop those qualities, even though I am so unworthy.....